Medicalstudentitis

I have a severe case of medicalstudentitis.  I have a runny nose, sneezing, coughing, lethargy and sulks.  But, rather than the common cold, I am suspecting many things, including TB, leukaemia and HIV seroconversion.  And I wouldn't dream of asking an actual doctor.  I'll just mutter darkly about my suspicions to medical student friends who will tell you about how they diagnosed themselves with Crohns and Behcets last time they got a mouth ulcer....

Things that make me sad

I saw a man today who had recently developed AIDS. Only he did so with probably lymphoma, so the prognosis looks a little bleak, even if he starts HAART. For some reason, his optimism, his little rationalisations and his conviction that a definitive diagnosis would make all the difference all made me feel heartbroken. He showed me his wedding photos. His partner has HIV too, and has been on ARVs for years. He is a lovely man.

It makes me worry that medicine is not the career for me. I am going to spend so much time heartbroken.

I'm reading about HIV today. An ABC of AIDS is the book, but it was last updated in 1999/2000, so I'm pretty sure some of the stats are so far out as to be wildly misleading. Oh well. I am learning, by reading everyone else's medical blogs. I'm just not sure this will help me pass my exams...

I was reading the http://fatdoctor.org/ blog today, talking about this sense of entitlement that people seem to have. Ok, it's US not UK, but it sounds very familiar. Is society going down the pan?! It's always me me me, isn't it?

I was at the check-out with my boyfriend and our groceries. At the next till was a little elderly lady reaching slowing and determinedly into the bottom of her trolley to get her shopping out on to the conveyer. Boyfriend and I looked at each other and the elderly lady toiling away, and he went over to help. Initially, she was totally baffled, then she realised he was offering to help and accepted. At the other side of the counter, as boyfriend was packing our shopping and her husband was packing hers, she came to talk to me. She said at 91 her back was fine, but her feet were easily tired. She explained that initially when boyfriend had gone to help she hadn't understood what he was doing, she rarely gets offers of help from strangers. How sad is that? Made want to give her a hug.

It reminded me of being on the bus, sitting on a double seat downstairs, no-one next to me yet. Lots of others were in the same position as it wasn't very busy, but no double seats were left. A woman got on with her small child and looked around for somewhere to sit with him. He must have been about 5. So, I got up and moved across to another seat so they could sit beside each other, no big deal, involved me moving about 3 feet. She was so amazed and so grateful, when I had hardly done anything at all. I have to assume that people don't often do these little things for other people. If it costs you nothing, then why not? I don't think my parents did anything special, I am no different than anyone else, but I do these things if I notice or realise (not always the case I admit). Is this a new thing, have we got less friendly or have people always been oblivious and selfish?

Well, my finalist friends got their results last night. I know somone who got their rota for their FY1 post already, taking them from August to January. At least he knows what he will be doing next year. Sadly, there wasn't much rejoicing last night. MMC/MTAS has completely knocked the stuffing out of junior doctors, but also out of their future colleagues. Not that many people were running around full of joy to be entering the medical profession in a few short months.

No great suprise there then. How can you get excited about joining a so-called profession where you are not even allowed to apply for the jobs which are available? How many other public sector workers would put up with not being allowed to have any say in where in the country they were to work? Is it any wonder that the suicide rate among doctors is higher than any other profession, that people are dropping out like rats from a sinking ship and heading to the city, so at least they can afford to live where they want to? On the topic, where is the European Working Time Directive that tells city boys that they can't work all night?

I applied for an academic foundation post today. If I do get it, I will know by the end of July where I will be working in August 2008. So, can't complain in that sense. But, what is the point of fighting for a prestigious post when like as not I will have to enter what is effectively a lottery in 2 years time to the point where I won't even get much choice as to what branch of medicine I will specialise in? Having just spent a week or two doing nothing but fill out a form, I am starting to get an insight into how it must feel to be a junior doctor. How can you justify yourself in 5 or 6 150 word questions without a CV? I was stressed enough and I got to list my academic achievements (such as they are) on my form.

Watch this space, you might find it turns into "my accountancy adventures" all too soon.

...

We raised over £500 for Great Ormond Street tonight as part of our run-up to a trek in Everest for research and fun and fundraising. It was a really good night actually, 5 bands played, mostly with medics in. I'm suprised they all get out so much!

Wow, a blogging widget!

Aren't macs wonderful?!  A little dashboard accessory to let me fill this blog up with totally pointless wittering whilst I fail to finish my application form.  I am hoping a promised trip to the pub will motivate me to get it done, but we shall see.

Foundation applications

Justify your application to this competitive academic foundation training post in 150 words each over 5 questions. Shouldn't be to hard, right?

Why is it taking all day and feeling like banging my head against a brick wall? No fun at all.